Why Me?
by navi-the-sprite
Summary: Rated for language and content. Harry believes everything is his fault he slips into serious depression and nobody can save him...the wizarding worlds final light is beginning to fail, can anybody save him? Will be HPSS slash dont like dont read!
1. Why?

Disclaimer: Not my characters J.K Rowlings okay?

/…blah…blah/- Harry's thoughts

[…blah…blah]- Remus' thoughts

{…blah…blah}- Severus' thoughts

"…blah…blah" Everyone speaking

**Why Me?**

Chapter One- Unwanted Gift

Harry woke yet again from a fitful slumber. It was the summer after his fifth year, he no longer had the frequent nightmare's from Voldemort…recently it had been about his loss of Sirius and then picturing all of the friends he had vanish just as quickly whilst he sat there utterly useless. He was dangerous to them and so he'd decided at the beginning of his sixth year he'd drive them all away to free them from most of the danger…then he'd inevitably have the final showdown with Voldemort and die…whilst hopefully taking the bastard with him.

Harry put on his glasses and sat down and wrote the letter he had to write every week to the Weasley's

I'm fine. Muggles are treating me well thanks to your warnings. See you later.

Harry Potter.

He turned and picked up his watch.

"Three a.m?" He sighed. He woke Hedwig and sent her with his letter…she wouldn't arrive at the Weasley's until a lot later anyway so nobody would question him about his sleeping habits. Harry sat the end of his bed trying not to think of anything…just to let his mind drift.

/_So then…_/ his mind woke up /_The apology to Snape…hmm well I cant just write a letter, he wont take that seriously…but to apologise up front will give him a reason to tear me apart…again. Hmmm_/ Harry's musings were cut short by a noise downstairs in the kitchen. He gulped gripping his wand.

/_Maybe it's just Dudley out for an midnight snack…how many times have I been scared shitless because of that?/_ Harry began to calm down a little he listened beside his Aunt and Uncles bedroom door.

/_Sleeping like babies_/ Harry smirked. The boy-who-lived approached the top of the stairs, only to be stopped dead in his tracks by a very, _very_, loud and disturbing noise. A huge grunting snore from Dudley. Harry became worried again, he tip-toed back to his room and grabbed his fathers invisibility cloak…if it was the Order, he could breath a sigh of relief and then listen to some reason or other as to why they were there…if it wasn't, well Harry didn't want to think about that.

Harry tiptoed down the stairs, remembering to skip the one that groaned like Harry did when he had potions.

"Shhhh! We're here to do a job Macnair so stop banging around and find those muggles…but remember…it's the Dark Lords gift to Potter so we cant have any fun with him…yet." Harry was in shock…/_Malfoy? Out of Azkaban…oh shit…what do I do? Let Petunia, Vernon and Dudley die?…No! Even though I hate them I will not see them die because of me…just like…just like Sirius./_ Harry summoned what little Gryffindor courage he had left and approached the kitchen steadily being careful not to breathe too heavily.

--12 Grimmauld Place--

"Albus! The wards around the Dursley's home have been breached!" Remus yelled.

"What?!" Dumbledore had not counted on this. "Quick go immediately!" He shouted.

"What of the others?" Remus asked.

"I will get them now you go!" Albus shouted. Remus nodded and apparated.

--Dursley residence--

"Alright Malfoy we'll play it your way." Macnair growled. Harry snuck behind them and was about to stun them when Lucius span around and pointed his wand at Harry's chest.

"Hello Mr. Potter." He smirked pulling off the invisibility cloak to reveal Harry in nothing more than his pyjama pants. "My, my, my you look as delectable as ever." The elder Malfoy dropped the cloak and stroked his hand down Harry's chest, the lean muscles he had earned from Quidditch tightened as he glared fiercely at the blond.

"He's got a glare to rival Snape's." Macnair guffawed.

"Indeed." Malfoy drawled pushing Harry's chin up to get a better look at his face.

Harry tightened his grip on his wand /_Maybe I can hit him…his guard is definitely down_./ Harry thought just as Remus burst through the back door into the kitchen.

"Malfoy!" He spat angrily.

"Ahhh Lupin…the only remaining Marauder and the only person who never responded to my flirting…how are you?" Malfoy smirked. Remus' eyes narrowed.

"Let him go Malfoy." He growled dangerously.

"Heh. Why?" Lucius asked grinning. Remus pulled out his wand and pointed it at Macnair.

"Let Harry go or I'll kill him!" Remus sneered.

"Oh yes what a loss." Malfoy laughed.

"Malfoy…" Macnair growled his eyes darting from Remus' wand to Lucius who was now pointing his wand directly at Harry's throat.

"Remus get out please!" Harry begged /_I will not let him die! I will not lose him too!/_

Lucius rolled his eyes and smirked,

"Here Mr. Potter is your gift!" Malfoy clicked his fingers and in came about six more Death Eaters and three Dementors. Malfoy then put a body bind on Harry and Remus.

"Get the Muggles." Malfoy ordered. /No please no!/ Harry could do nothing but watch as the Dursley's were dragged downstairs and thrown unceremoniously onto the floor in the kitchen. Malfoy sneered at Petunia.

"Lily definitely got the looks of your family I see."

"Now see here!" Vernon began. Malfoy smirked evilly and pointed his wand at the fat, red-faced man.

"Crucio." He smiled insanely. Vernon began screaming in pain he quickly began to convulse. "Finite Incatatem." Malfoy sighed, "No stamina." He drawled, the other Death Eaters began to laugh. Petunia was crying her eyes out and clutching her terrified son to her chest. Malfoy nodded at the first Dementor and it swooped in and performed its deadly kiss.

Harry's eyes began to tear up /_This cannot be happening/_ he thought desperately hoping it was just some screwed up dream and he would wake up soon.

"You!" Malfoy pointed to one of the Death Eaters, "Take this," He kicked Vernon in the ribs "To the front of the house and tie him up there...and make sure everyone can see him!" Then he pointed to Petunia. "Let him go now!" He sneered. Petunia began to shake her head quickly.

"Petrificous Totalus!" He stunned Petunia. Then he did the same to Dudley, the Cruciatus curse and then the Dementors kiss.

[ _Where the hell is Dumbledore?!_ ] Then Dudley was taken outside and Petunia was tortured and the third Dementor gleefully performed its sinister kiss.

Harry couldn't bare this…he felt his mind shutting down…

/_All my fault…all my fault…all my fault/_ he couldn't shut the voice out. Lucius turned around and smirked at Harry as the Dementors flew away and the Death Eaters dissaperated. He ended the body bind holding Harry and then grabbed Remus and dissaperated with him. Harry could only stare in shock his mind was numb he felt dead…but deep down he knew he wasn't. Then the events of the night sunk in…

"Remus…" He whispered sadly "I'm sorry…it's all my fault…my fault."

"Harry!" Dumbledore raced in with Mad eye Moody, Tonks and Snape.

"I couldn't help any of them…Cedric…Sirius…Uncle Vernon…Aunt Petunia…Dudley…Remus…it's all my fault…why me? Why them…why?" Harry ignored the four adults.

"I'm gonna kill everyone…they all die because of me."

"Harry!" Dumbledore shouted trying to make the boy come around. Harry pulled his knees to his chest and began rocking backwards and forwards repeating the words 'my fault'. Dumbledore shook his head sadly and turned to the other members of the order.

"We must take him to Hogwarts immediately." They all nodded and left for Hogwarts.

A.N So what do you think? Good, bad absolutely crap? Just click the button and let me know please! No flames though just constructive critisms okay.


	2. Help Me

Disclaimer: Not mine J.K Rowlings okay?

/…blah…blah/- Harry's thoughts

[…blah…blah]- Remus' thoughts

{…blah…blah}- Severus' thoughts

"…blah…blah" Everyone speaking

--…blah…blah-- Harry's mind

A.N O.O Reviews wow.

Miki23: Here I am back with another chapter, did my story really upset you? Wow.

Peterpanfan: Thanks so much this really encourages me to write more, thanks for the support.

Blackiebrens: That's a good idea I'm considering it as I write.

Thanks for your reviews its such a rush getting them well enough from me on with the story!

Why Me?

Chapter Two- Help Me

Albus sat on the end of Harry's hospital wing bed. He hadn't moved a muscle, he just lay there his eyes wide open…but you could tell he wasn't looking at the real world and one could only guess what horrid images were playing in the boys head.

For the first time in many, many years, Albus Dumbledore could do nothing but sit and watch and it frustrated him beyond all belief.

-- Harry sat alone in a void of darkness, he just sat there nothing more hearing the occasional whisper of his name. Finally he began to move trying to stand, but to no avail. "Hello?" He shouted, all he heard was an echo of his own voice, "Is there anyone out there?" He asked getting a little afraid.

__

"No…your all alone, the way you should be." He heard his voice call back to him. The darkness began to move in on him, coiling around his arms and legs, crawling its way up his body like vines. Harry's breathing became erratic and he could hear his heart thumping in his ears.

__

"Don't fight it Harry…you know that as soon as you go back to their world that more and more people will die." The voice was trying to sooth Harry into the abyss.

"All my fault…" Harry mumbled sadly.

__

"Exactly…all your fault!" The black coils began to change colour rapidly from black to deep red. Harry touched his face, his eyes widened as he observed his hand.

"Blood…" He whispered his eyes wide in fear.

__

"Yes…the blood of all of them…"

Harry saw his Mother and Father…

"It's all your fault." They chorused, "You killed us! If it weren't for you we'd still be alive!" They spat disgust etched across their faces. "You destroyed us…" They faded away and were replaced with an image of.

"Cedric?" Harry whispered his eyes tearing up.

"Yes Harry it's me…you murdered me too!" He sneered his eyes cold and emotionless. "You should have just taken that trophy…but no! You had to be the big headed Gryffindor and suggest we both take it!" Cedric spat in Harry's face and faded away.

"No…" Harry pleaded as Sirius began to appear in front of him.

"Yes." Sirius sneered--

Riddle Mansion

"Ahhh so you are the werewolf?" Voldemort smirked as two Death Eaters forced Remus to bow.

"Go ahead just kill me you snake!" Remus spat standing up.

[ Lucky for you my arms are fixed behind my back otherwise I'd be tearing you limb from fucking limb you monster] Voldemort smiled evilly.

"No I wont be killing you…not yet anyway, I have better plans for you my little friend." He clicked his fingers and the two Death Eaters dragged Remus away.

Hogwarts

"Dumbledore there is nothing we can do for the boy." Severus stated calmly, watching the Headmaster pace his office.

"There has to be something!" Dumbledore shouted, the anger emanating from him was making Severus very edgy.

"But we've checked everything in the medical books about shock…we cant treat it." Severus began to rub his temples {I have a headache…Potter you just cant let people rest can you?}

"Severus I want you to try! You need to make a potion incorporating the ideas of the 'ennervate' charm…just make it stronger." Dumbledore sat down "What if Voldemort attacks, we'll be defenceless…" Severus started getting angry…

{Is that all he cares about?…the nerve} The potions master took a deep breath and spoke as calmly as possible.

"I will try, after I've finished the potions for Madame Pomphrey I will get to work on it." He spoke through gritted teeth.

"Very well you may leave now Severus." And leave he did.

-- "If you hadn't been so stupid I would still be alive! And what's this I hear? You've sealed Remus' fate as well? Typical, I was wrong…you're nothing like James and Lily…you're just as bad as Voldemort!" Sirius kicked some of the blood over Harry and then faded away. Harry's breathing was getting worse, he could smell the blood and it was making him sick. The Dursley's faded into view.

"Freak! You killed us as well! We hate you!" Dudley kicked Harry and then they disappeared as well. Then there was nothing…the blood disappeared and Harry was back in the darkness.

__

"You see Harry? It is all your fault! If you go back then everyone else will die because of you…Ron…Hermione…all of the Weasley's." Harry pulled his knees up to his chest.

"My fault…my fault…my fault…" He began rocking backwards and forwards again.--

Severus walked into the Hospital wing potions vials floating behind him. He pulled out a checklist.

"Dreamless sleep…check." He ticked the column and the dreamless sleep vials flew into place. He did the same for all the others going through them one by one speaking in a low and monotonous manner. He glanced over to Harry's bed the sight was upsetting, even for a man like him.

"The boy-who-lived…reduced to this…how depressing, the boy should have never seen such pain I'm sorry Harry, for everything I've said to you, I never really thought, well…I'm sorry."

-- Harry felt something familiar near him… "Hello?" he asked again into the darkness. No reply, not even an echo. But the familiarity remained near him…it was something that made him want to prove himself.

__

"Prove yourself as what Harry? A failure?" The voice sneered at him.

"No…as…a…hero." Harry muttered.

__

"A hero? Don't make me laugh, heroes save people, not kill them!" The voice mocked._ "Just give up!"_

"Why?"

__

"Because you cant win!"

"But I can try!"

__

"Hope is a delusion…pain is the reality! Stay here where everyone is safe from you!"

"You're right…"

__

"Of course I'm right, I always am!"

"Somebody…help me…"--

Severus almost jumped out of his skin when he heard a whisper from behind him.

"Somebody…"

"Potter?" He asked in shock.

"Help me…"

A.N Is it still good? Please R&R thanks to all that reviewed before bye bye! By the way, sorry if it's too short!


	3. Last Resort

Disclaimer: Not mine J.K Rowlings okay?

/…blah…blah/- Harry's thoughts

[…blah…blah]- Remus' thoughts

{…blah…blah}- Severus' thoughts

"…blah…blah" Everyone speaking

--…blah…blah-- Harry's mind

A.N- Thanks to you all for reviewing I'm so happy! So happy in fact that I'm here again with my new chapter!

Menecarkawan- The saddest? Aww wow I guess I hit the nail on the head with this story.

Miki23- Sorry for making the last chapter a bit short, hopefully this one will be longer.

Daughterofdeath- Here it is!

Another thank you to my reviewers…well on with the story!

Why Me?

Chapter three- Last resort

Severus almost jumped out of his skin when he heard a whisper from behind him.

"Somebody…"

"Potter?" He asked in shock.

"Help me…"

"Help you? How can I do that Harry?" Severus asked, {oh please let him wake up, please!} Harry couldn't hear the potions master, this was clear because Severus received no answer. He was about to start shaking the boy, when his Dark Mark began to burn.

"Shit!" Snape cursed aloud, "Harry, fight what's inside you! I must go now…" He grabbed his for-arm and spoke again through gritted teeth, "You are a born fighter Harry…please pull through." He turned and ran to the dungeons, once there he wrote a quick note to Dumbledore,

He's calling, must go, will try to keep him away from Potter.

S. Snape.

He sent the letter and grabbed his black cloak and white mask, he ran to the apparation point, cleared his mind…and left.

**Riddle Mansion**

Severus appeared in front of the old Mansion and rushed inside. The place was still covered in dust and smelled as though it was rotting away. Severus could swear that one day the house would collapse on them.

He reached the old Ball room of the house and quickly took his place in the circle. After about five minutes of waiting Voldemort walked in, in all his 'glory'. As he walked past the Death Eaters kissed the hem of his robe he walked past Severus, who kissed his robe as well, he could feel the snake trying to push into his mind. He quickly cleared anything incriminating and focused on letting a little information on Potter slip.

"So?" Voldemort hissed, an insane smirk playing at his lips. "The boy was in shock when you found him? Tell me…is he still in that state?"

"I'm afraid not my lord, he quickly recovered when the fool took him back to Hogwarts." Severus lied.

"Ah, well then we'll just have to send another reason for him to slip into shock again wont we?" Voldemort clicked his fingers and Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange dragged a bloody and broken Remus into the room. All the Death Eaters sniggered at the werewolf. Lucius dropped him at Voldemort's feet.

"Here you go my lord." He quickly backed away, whilst still bowing.

"Thank you Lucius, now then, my inner circle you remain, the rest…I've told you your next mission go and fulfil it!" He spat to the crowd. Many of the Death Eaters nodded and scurried off.

"Please, you are most trusted Death Eaters, remove your masks." Voldemort ordered.

The remaining removed there masks. Severus Snape, Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Malfoy, Bellatrix Lestrange, Macnair, Crabbe and Goyle. One remained with his mask on and Voldemort summoned whoever it was forward.

"Ah yes, this is our new recruit, he made it straight here because he has been at school with Potter since the beginning and provides, very, _very_ valuable information regarding my nemesis." Voldemort introduced the new person.

{Please, not Draco…please?} Severus let the thought slip, but quickly regained his barriers and his face remained impassive.

"Remove your mask." Voldemort ordered, the new Death Eater obliged, it was…

{No!}

**Hogwarts Hospital Wing**

--Harry sat staring straight into the eyes of Remus Lupin,

"I'm going to die because of you Harry." He kept on whispering the same words, whilst Harry shook his head saying nothing.

"Yes Harry because of you. Didn't I tell you this would happen?" The mocking voice had returned.

"Yes, yes, yes…Harry Potter, the-boy-who-lived…"

"…To kill…" Harry finished tonelessly.

"Ah yes you see, you do learn, even though it is the hard way you seem to choose all the time."

Harry closed his eyes, not that it made much difference, he could still hear Remus' accusing voice and the mocking laughter of the other.--

Albus sat on the end of Harry's bed, staring into the unseeing eyes. He couldn't see anything. The boys face was set in the same expression all the time, as though he were carved out of stone. His eyes were like glass…the brilliant fire that used to sparkle there had been taken down to a mere flicker. Albus just sighed and began to walk towards the apparation point to wait for Severus.

**Riddle Mansion**

What could he do? There stood the new Death Eater…who had been entrusted with his secret and who no doubt already told him…and Remus lay there unconscious…

{Grab him and apparate away…} This was Severus' last resort…but if he'd been found out he could save at least one more life.

{Oh how very Gryffindor of me.} Voldemort smirked and ordered the Death Eaters forward. He raised his wand and pointed it at Remus' body.

"Avada…" Severus acted quickly, he put Crabbe under the 'Impervious' curse and made him jump at Voldemort, grabbed Remus' arm and apparated away. Voldemort smiled at his new Death Eater and spoke,

"Well, it seems as though you spoke the truth, welcome to the Death Eaters." The new Death Eater held out his arm and received the Dark Mark.

**Hogwarts**

Dumbledore had just sat down when Severus apparated with a very battered Remus. The quickly got him on a stretcher and took him to the Hospital Wing.

Severus spared a glance at Harry…he was a little upset to see him in the same state. After he'd tried to help him.

{Oh well, cant win them all} He thought as he turned back to Remus.

"You'd better appreciate this werewolf…" He muttered as he watched Pomphrey do her routine check over and then began administrating different potions.

--Harry felt another familiar presence, he felt the one that made him determined…but he also felt a presence that made him warm, almost happy…he then noticed the accusing voice of Remus had died away and he was left alone again…

"You'd better appreciate this werewolf…" Harry heard a new voice, not accusing just there.

"Who's that?" He asked the darkness…no reply… "Damn!" he felt more determined to find the light again.

"Stop it Harry…you'll just hurt everyone again…"

"No…I need to see if it's Remus!"

"It wont be, remember you killed him as well?"

"But he could have gotten away!"

"Remember Harry hope is a delusion…pain is the reality!"

"NO!"

"What?!"

"No…hope gets people through the darkest of times!"

"Still…you killed all of them…remember."

"I…I did…" Harry began to slip again when he heard the new voice again,

"I have some bad news Headmaster…Voldemort has a new follower…no not Draco…Ron Weasley."

Harry felt a pang of emotion…not sadness…nor did he feel lost…he felt angry.

"What? He dare betray us? His family…they are in danger…everyone is in danger!"

"All the people you care about are either dying or leaving you, just give in!"

The new voice spoke again,

"I'm sorry Headmaster, but he knew I was the spy…so I saved Remus…as a last resort really…it's the last thing I could do to save somebody, now I'm useless to the order."

"Remus…" Harry fought to become conscious to the real world again.--

Harry groaned and began to open his eyes. Neither adult noticed, they were deep in thought about Ron.

Harry couldn't see properly.

/My glasses aren't on…/ He could just make out two figures…one that was obviously Dumbledore and the other was…

"P-professor…S-snape?" He croaked out. The two adults whirled around to see a squinting…but definitely awake Harry Potter.

"Yes?" Snape asked…trying not to crack a huge grin.

"Thank…you" Harry let a small smile play his lips as he began to fall asleep.

"For what?" He was genuinely confused.

"You, saved me." Harry drifted to sleep the smile still there.

A.N There we go! Please R&R


	4. Awake

Disclaimer: Not mine J.K Rowlings okay?

/…blah…blah/- Harry's thoughts

[…blah…blah]- Remus' thoughts

{…blah…blah}- Severus' thoughts

"…blah…blah" Everyone speaking

A.N Thanks to all my reviewers! You're so great!

Menecarkawan- I haven't liked him since then either. That's where I got the idea from.

Miki23- Yeah, we'll see his motives soon enough don't worry.

Blackiebrens- Sorry about the way I put it, but I was kind of suffering from writers block…oh well thanks for your review it helped a lot!

Thanks to all! On with the next chapter.

**Why Me?**

Chapter four- Awake

Harry's eyes fluttered open, he squinted around.

/Definitely the hospital wing/ He reached around and found his glasses on the bedside table. Once he could see properly he took another look around…

/Why am I here?/ He questioned himself…confusion etched across his face. He spotted the unconscious figure on the bed next to his.

"Remus?" Harry's eyes widened as he remembered all that had happened…Petunia, Vernon and Dudley…all destroyed by Death Eaters…then darkness with only a voice to keep him company. His heart ached…all his fault.

/I. Will. Not. Cry./ His eyes slammed shut as he forced the tears back.

Harry put his feet on the cold stone floor and tried to stand.

"Ah, Harry…you're awake." Albus Dumbledore spoke from the doorway. Harry span and looked the Headmaster in the eye. Harry nodded in response, not saying a word.

"You're things are in Gryffindor tower, make sure you take your wand everywhere you go."

"Sir, is it true? About Ron?" Harry hoped that he was wrong…but a voice in the back of his head told him he wasn't.

"I'm afraid so Harry…" Dumbledore hung his head.

"Right." Harry nodded and pushed past the Headmaster and headed for Gryffindor tower.

/What will Molly say? Damn you Ron! Why would you do this?/

Flashback- Harry's fourth year.

"It's OK, you know you can tell _me _the truth," he said. "If you don't want everyone else to know, fine, but I don't know why you're bothering to lie, you didn't even get into trouble for it, did you? That friend of the Fat Lady's, that Violet, she's already told us all, Dumbledore's letting you enter. A thousand Galleons prize money, eh? And you don't have to do end-of-year tests either…"

"I didn't put my name in that Goblet!" said Harry, starting to feel angry.

"Yeah, OK," said Ron, in exactly the same sceptical tone as Cedric. "Only you said this morning you'd have done it last night, and no one would've seen you…I'm not stupid, you know."

"You're doing a good impression of it," Harry snapped.

End Flashback

"Jealousy?" Harry couldn't believe it. /No not Ron…he wouldn't go this far…there has to be another reason…but if that is the reason, then/

"It's all my fault…again." Harry pulled on his clothes and headed back downstairs.

Dumbledore's Office

"So what do we do if Potter decides to get revenge on Weasley?" Snape questioned the pacing Headmaster.

"That's what I'm worried about, we're in no position to stop him really, let's just hope that he takes his revenge on the battlefield, that way he'll still be able to get rid of Voldemort." Dumbledore was too busy staring at the floor to notice Severus' eyes thin considerably.

{Again! The fool only cares about ridding himself of Voldemort.}

"What if Potter dies against the Dark Lord? I mean the prophecy only stated that one of them will die, we do not know which." Snape watched the Headmaster.

"Well then we shall have to hope they destroy each other if anything…I'll do anything to destroy Voldemort."

"So really," Severus rose from his seat forcing his voice to be calm, "what you're saying is that you are willing to kill the boy if needed, you wont even try to protect him." He stated this very matter-of-factly.

"Anything to rid us of Voldemort." Albus was now muttering to himself he was lucky he did not see the anger raging behind Severus' eyes. If looks could kill, Albus would be six feet under by now.

"Okay." Severus walked towards the door shaking with rage.

{The lake, that helps me clear my mind} He thought as he stormed through Hogwarts halls.

By the lake

Harry sat down in front of the lake.

/Now then/ Harry smiled at the giant squid /The apology to Snape/

Harry stared at the lake deep in thought, watching the sunlight shimmer off the surface.

Severus had grabbed his notebook and headed outside. {What a perfect way to spend my day, outside in the quiet and working on new potions} He found his favourite tree and sat underneath it. He stretched and looked around.

{Oh great Potter…wait what Is he doing?}

Harry had stood up, his eyes still on the water…he could sense something behind him, he groped his robes in search of his wand.

/Shit! The old fool was right and I didn't listen…/ Harry gulped, he'd left it in the tower…/Wait, I'm about to die…why should I care? I mean it's not as if I'll be a big loss right? I mean I kill everyone who I get close to…god I hate my life, I should let whatever it is just kill me, hopefully it will be quick…but then again do I deserve a quick death?/ Harry turned to face whatever it was that was about to kill him.

Closing his eyes he waited for something to strike…then there it was, a huge thud on his chest that causing him to unbalance…but wait, he didn't feel himself dying, he dared to crack open an eye…

"What are you doing Potter?" A voiced wheezed, "Aren't you supposed to be the hero? Take me to the…Hospital Wing!" Cold grey eyes stared into shocked emerald green ones.

"Malfoy?" Harry shook himself out of his stupor and lifted the boy up.

"Ouch…" Draco swayed a little so Harry grabbed his arm to stop him from falling again.

"Mr. Malfoy what are you doing here?" The voice of the Potions professor caused Harry to flinch and let go of Draco, who immediately fell onto the grass again.

"Shit…Potter can you do nothing right?" Severus snapped conjuring up a stretcher and levitating Draco onto it. Harry just stared at the floor…

"No…it seems I cant." He whispered, before Severus could say anymore Harry backed off, turned and ran…straight into the forbidden forest.

"Oh for the love of-, can nothing go my way today?"

{Right a frantic and seemingly unarmed Potter running into the Forbidden Forest…or my Godson, unconscious and bleeding on a stretcher…decisions, decisions…} He let out an annoyed grunt and ran towards the Hogwarts main doors, pulling the stretcher behind him, {Good job he's unconscious…imagine that, Severus Snape 'running'} He opened the door and called for two house elves.

{I knew these would come in handy one day…Oh great} Dobby and Winky had appeared in front of him.

"You!" He pointed at Winky, "Take Mr. Malfoy to the Hospital Wing immediately!" She nodded her head quickly and ran off with Draco.

"And you," He turned to Dobby, "Go to the Headmaster and tell him Harry Potter is unarmed and has ran into the Forbidden Forest! Also tell him I've gone to look for him now!" And with that the Potions Master sprinted back out of the doorway and down towards the Forbidden Forest.

{A guy can never get any rest around here can he?} Snape sneered as he ran into the Forbidden Forest.

"Potter! Where are you?" No answer, "Oh great how far has he run into this thing?" Snape questioned through gritted teeth.

Heart Of the Forbidden Forest

Harry had finally stopped running and fell down to his knees.

/Something just come out and kill me now please?!/ He leant back against a tree.

"Why?" He questioned aloud, "Why does it all have to happen to my friends? If it weren't for me…Ron wouldn't be so jealous and would still be on our side…If it weren't for me, Voldemort wouldn't have been able to re-generate himself and be so powerful…if it weren't for me…"

Snape was running deeper and deeper into the Forest, {Why do I always feel I need to protect this boy?} He wondered {I mean, he keeps getting himself into trouble, why should I be responsible for the brat?…Wait haven't you just learned that Potter may be many things but he isn't a brat? Oh well…}

Snape came to a halt and listened for any signs of the boy, his heart began to race, {Oh no! What if I'm too late?!} His heart was thumping ridiculously loud, he feared he wouldn't hear even if the boy did make any noise.

Harry sat and stared at the new beast in front of him…/Friend or enemy?/ He wondered.

The creature had an eerie kind of beauty to it…human in form but very noticeable differences, it skin was pale green and its eyes yellow and cat like…/But nothing like the mermaids I saw in fourth year/

It was very tall for a female, its arms and legs being rather long white nails at the end of both feet and hands. Long deep green hair fell to her waist and she seemed to be wearing armour of some sort…a green and brown breast-plate and leg guards. Black knee-boots and gloves that reached her elbows and a olive green skirt.

She stared intently at Harry…obviously assessing him.

"Aren't you a little stupid?" The creature questioned, not coldly, just rather curiously, "You are obviously a wizard…yet you appear to be unarmed, why run into such a place as this when you could be easily killed?" It tilted its head, Harry was about to answer when he noticed another unusual characteristic about the creature, thin, film like, almost transparent wings.

"Fairy?" He asked dumbfounded. Its eyes assessed him once more,

"Answer my question." It demanded softly.

"How about if I don't care if I die?" Harry couldn't look at the creatures eyes. They were boring into his head.

"Silly human…" She smiled.

"Potter?" Harry heard the voice of his dreaded Potions Professor.

"No…" He whispered. The fairy smiled and spoke again, but this time in Harry's voice,

"Over here!" She shouted and the she disappeared. Harry blinked a few times…/What just happened here?/

"There you are!" Snape panted…{Ok, so be as nice as possible, he's a loose cannon at the moment.}

"You really scared me there Potter…do you want me to d-" {Wait that wont help the situation will it?}

"Do I want you to…" Harry asked staring at the Professor.

"Be driven insane…I cant always be here to find you." Harry raised an eyebrow…now there's a thing he never thought of…this man _was_ always saving his life, along with many others.

/So why isn't he the famous one? He's done a lot more than I have to save people/

"If you aren't scaring me when you're unconscious you're making me run around like a headless chicken when you're awake." He sighed, "Come we'd better get out of here before something nasty shows up." Harry nodded and walked with is Professor…in an almost comfortable silence.

/Now then… the always asked question…the apology to Snape/

A.N Please R&R!! Constructive criticisms are welcome…flames will be loaded into a cannon and fired back at you! Thank you!


	5. I've Done It Again

Disclaimer: Not mine J.K Rowling's okay?  
  
/...blah...blah/- Harry's thoughts

[...blah...blah]- Remus' thoughts

{...blah...blah}- Severus' thoughts

"...blah...blah"- Everyone speaking  
  
A.N Woohoo! More reviews! Thanks so much to you all!  
  
Miki23- Thanks so much for reviewing, don't worry I've got something planned for everyone when they get back to school!   
  
Menecarkawan- Don't worry Severus will sort himself out soon...and so will Harry, thanks for your review!  
  
Saadia53832- Glad you like it, hope this next chapter is good too!  
  
As for the fairy, you'll see where she comes into it later! Well on with chapter five!  
  
** Why Me?  
** Chapter five- I've Done It Again.  
  
Draco tossed and turned, he had been unconscious for a week now and Severus was beyond worried. He spent most of his time at his Godsons side hoping that the boy would wake up. Any signs of movement were like false promises to Snape, every time he thought Draco's stormy grey eyes would open...but they never did. At the moment Draco was in some kind of nightmare, this was clear to Severus...he hated that he couldn't just wake the boy up...to tell him that everything was okay.

He had the reputation of a cold and heartless bastard, he even admitted that he usually was, but now he just watched and felt like bursting into tears...he wanted so desperately to change but if he did he would just kill himself because of depression. He ran his hand through his ebony mop and sighed,

"What am I gonna do now?" He whispered to himself,

{Well I'm now completely useless to the order...} He glared at the werewolf across the room {now I have no uses...sorry Dumbledore, I've failed you. All thanks to that idiot Potter!} Harry's almost dead eyes flashed into his mind,

"Can I not think in peace?" he growled rubbing his temples.  
  
Harry sat completely still. He was in the Astronomy tower, sitting upon a windowsill the window was half open so a little breeze caught him. The sun was setting shooting orange and red across the sky, a faint crescent moon could be seen. Harry sighed, this was nature the purest thing next to a Unicorn.

"I shouldn't be allowed such bliss." He spat at himself. He put his head against the stone wall and let his thoughts wander.

/Well...I've already planned my apology to Snape...what now? Wow my thoughts have been obsessed with that damned apology, why do I care about Snape so much? Oh well what now? Well I could just jump...I mean that'll take care of every one of my problems...no, I cant, I have to take revenge on Weasley! The backstabbing bastard!/ Harry's face quickly turned from of self-hatred to one of pure anger.../Wait...I cant do anything can I? I mean, Dumbledore will kill me! ...does that mean I have to act like his best friend?!/ Harry jumped to his feet,

"I can't...well wait I can b-but...gotta go see Dumbledore!" He hurled himself out of the Astronomy tower and down the stairs and through the halls, once in front of the statue he realised.../I don't know the bloody password! Great!/  
  
Severus watched as Draco calmed down in his slumber. He let out a subconsciously held breath. He looked around the room...noticing nothing out of the ordinary he bent down and kissed Draco's for-head, and whispered'

"Please wake up soon." Then he turned to leave.

As soon as the door had closed Remus' eyes fluttered open he took a moment to adjust to his surroundings, the sun had set now and moonlight flitted across the room from the thin windows. He looked around and felt around the bedside table looking for his wand. Madame Pomphrey rushed out of her room and over to the now conscious werewolf.

"Mr. Lupin...what is the matter?" She frowned, Remus paid her no attention and kept on searching.

"Are you looking for your wand?" She questioned, Remus' head snapped up and he nodded slowly.

"Do you have it?" He questioned his voice hoarse.

"Yes I shall go and get it for you just stay here." Pomphrey went into her office. She put Lupin's wand in her pocket and locked the door to her office and to the Hospital Wing. Throwing a handful of floo powder into the fire she whispered 'Dumbledore's office.' The Headmasters head appeared in the fire and he half smiled at the distressed witch.

"What is the matter Poppy?" He asked, the nurse shushed him quickly.

"Lupin is awake," She whispered, "Headmaster do not look so happy, he is showing signs of being controlled. He may be under-" The maiden was cut off by Lupin banging on the door. "POPPY please come out here!" He shouted.

"Headmaster!" She pleaded, Albus nodded and the appeared out of the fire straight afterwards. Poppy opened the door quickly. Remus stood there, the unconscious Draco at his feet and his foot on the teen's throat.

"Give me my wand." He smiled insanely, pressing his foot down harder. Albus appeared in the doorway staring furiously at the werewolf. Remus' forced grin disappeared quickly, "Why did you get that fool down! Stupid witch!" Remus picked Draco up and squeezed his throat, "GIIVE ME MY WAND!" The choking sounds were drowned by Remus' screaming. Dumbledore sighed and pointed his wand at the wizard in front of him.  
  
Severus had been half way back to his rooms when his heart decided to appear and work over time. He sighed irritably. "Bloody teenagers will be the fucking death of me." He turned sharply and walked briskly back to the Hospital Wing.  
  
Harry was pacing outside the Headmasters office, he'd tried everything he could every password he could think of, he'd even tried screaming, but to no avail. /Whatever I'll just go see how Remus is doing./ He growled and stormed off.  
  
Both teacher and student met outside the doors.

"What's the matter Potter? Cant open a door now?" Snape sneered at Harry who stared at the doors completely dumbfounded, he didn't even react, no scowl or anything.

/What's the point in reacting? I mean he'll just talk me down again./ Harry sighed. Severus tried the door, expecting it to give way instantly and being stopped dead. "What the?" He muttered. "Alohamora." Harry murmured from behind him the doors sprang open.  
  
"Remus please don't make me do this to you!" Albus sighed, Remus just tightened his grip.

"You always were a fool Dumbledore! Thinking everyone deserved a second chance!" Remus spat angrily.

"CRUCIO" Snape bellowed from the doorway of the Hospital Wing. Remus fell down, writhing in agony, he dropped Draco, but Snape held the curse on. Completely oblivious to the yelling of Dumbledore and Poppy. The curse was held for a good five minutes before the Potions Master came crashing to the ground, the full weight of Harry Potter on his back. He was about to screech at the boy until he saw the look in his eyes. Pain, sheer unkempt pain, he'd caused that. Dumbledore hovered over Remus and muttered a long and complex charm. Remus' unfocused eyes suddenly regained there life.

"Dumbledore?" His eyes reflected the confusion he felt. Severus stood and stared at his hands, then he looked over to Draco who had been put back on his bed by Pomphrey. Harry backed away quickly, he could have lost Remus then...

/What if I hadn't stopped him? What if Remus has side affects from my incapability to react quickly? I've done it again!/

"Potter? Potter! Snap out of it!" Snape yelled. The boys eyes had gone unbelievably wide and his breathing had become irregular.

"I've done it again." He whispered sadly, he slid down the wall and hugged his knees.

"Potter! Do not do this again!" Severus growled.

A.N So what do you think? Please! If you have any idea's to help me please share them. I'm suffering from severe writers block! Well please R&R!!


	6. Potter you will be the end of me!

Disclaimer: Not my characters J.K Rowlings okay?

/…blah…blah/- Harry's thoughts

[…blah…blah]- Remus' thoughts

{…blah…blah}- Severus' thoughts

…blah…blah-Draco's thoughts

"…blah…blah" Everyone speaking

A.N Wow so many reviews! Thank you all so much!

Miki23- Thanks for reviewing again! Glad you like my story so much! Don't worry about Harry he'll get better soon!

Queen of empathy- Thanks for the ideas! Don't worry all shall be revealed about Ron and Draco and yes I will be dragging this on until the war.

My twin hates me- Cool glad you like my story! Please keep reading!

Tigris T Draconis- Yeah I tried for an Angst story this time, sorry but it'll stay that way for a while, well please keep reading!

****

Why Me?

Chapter five- Potter you will be the end of me

Remus sat in Dumbledore's office, the look on his face a mixture of anger and sorrow in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry Dumbledore…I had no idea." He put his head in his hands.

"Don't worry Remus, you, like many, were under the Imperious Curse." Dumbledore's face was grave, the twinkle in his eyes gone…he looked older now than he ever had before.

"I'm going to go and apologise to Severus, thank you Albus." Remus stood a pained smile on his face.

"See you later Remus." Dumbledore smiled back.

Remus walked through the corridors of Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry,

[I can't believe it…after all Severus did to save me…I'm so ashamed.] Remus sighed heavily. [_You are a born killer Remus Lupin…you cannot hide the beast within. Yield to your anger! Imperious!_]

Remus' eyes died again he began walking again, slowly, using his werewolf senses to sniff Harry out. He wandered around for an hour before he found Harry's scent…

"Owelry." He whispered and set off in the direction of the Owelry.

Hospital Wing.

Severus sat next to Draco again watching him like a hawk.

{I will not let anything happen to you again!} He watched Draco's face closely, he noticed his eyes were moving very quickly under his eyelids.

"Must be dreaming…" Severus murmured to himself. He began thinking about Harry, after his brief moment of panic, the boy just stood looked him straight in the eye and said 'I hope Draco gets better soon' and walked off. "That boy will be the end of me."

Draco's Dream

He sat in his bedroom at Malfoy Manor, there was no noise…like he was deaf. He stood and rubbed his head,

Wow my head hurts… walking around the room he noticed lot's of unusual things. His stuff was no longer there…it was all gone but he knew for sure that this was his room. He looked around again…the colours here seemed to be very dull compared to the vibrant environment he had grown up in. He looked around the walls, none of his portraits were up, as though every trace of himself and his family had disappeared. He gazed upon the antique fireplace, across the mantel, again everything gone.

"What is going on here?" He asked unaware that the voice was not his own. He noticed one thing however, a shining mirror hung above the old fire place, a shining silver frame and unusually clean mirror surface.

Something drew him to the mirror, without realising, he began walking towards the strangely bright mirror. Looking upon it he could have screamed at the sight, there he was, Draco Malfoy, looking into the mirror, but looking back at him was a man more terrible than he. Lucius Malfoy sneered back at him, his eyes revealing all the malice and hate the man had. Draco stood in shock, then he noticed another figure behind him in the mirror, a person on the bed. Turning slowly, he prayed to whatever God was out there that it was not his father. Opening his eyes he saw himself next to his mother, he let out a sigh of relief and pulled the covers back.

"ARGH!" Draco's eyes widened in disbelief…Dead?…But that cant be…I'm alive, I'm here Draco stared into the unseeing eyes of his mother,

"Mother?" He whispered. He turned back to the mirror his father was there laughing at him.

"Shut up…shut up…SHUT UP!" Draco yelled punching the mirror, blood leaked from his knuckles like the little tears seeping out of his eyes.

"Why? What's going on?" He whispered, his voice still unnoticeable to himself.

"Don't you remember Draco?…You left her to die…"

His mothers voice began shrieking through his head, pleading with him to leave,

"RUN DRACO! Get to Hogwarts and tell Dumbledore _everything_!" His mothers voice faded away…as did the room he was in, then there was nothing…just a void ready to swallow him up.

End Draco's dream

Snape stared wide-eyed at the boy in front of him. The boy had, without a doubt, freaked Severus Snape out completely. First he had frowned, as if he was trying to figure something out, then he had jumped, in turn making Snape almost jump out of his skin, the he screamed, the shouted 'Shut up' and then he'd quietened down.

Severus just sat there, completely baffled as to why the boy had been acting this way.

Owelry

"Hi Remus…are you feeling any better, I mean it must have been hard for you…Remus." The man just stood there staring at him, an unnatural smile spread across his face and Harry could recognise that smile _anywhere_.

He stood quickly, keeping his wand behind his back.

"You alright Remus?" He asked, walking towards the wizard.

"Harry, Harry, Harry…how have you been since you received my little gift?" Remus' mouth was moving, but it was definitely not his voice coming out. Rage flowed through Harry's veins.

"Fuck you! I'm gonna kill you, you sadistic son of a bi-" Harry was cut off by Remus' wand moving quickly and him muttering those fatal words. Harry's eyes widened. Without thinking, he cast a shield charm…which he had done accidentally by himself when Vernon had tried to hit him…he'd looked it up and there were no records of such a counter-curse, Harry just assumed it was his own creation. The purpose of the counter was to reflect the curse back at the castor. Which it did quite effectively.

"No…" Harry looked on as Remus fell to the ground, everything seemed to go in slow motion as Remus' lifeless body crashed against the cold stone floor. Harry fell to his knees shaking his head in disbelief.

"I…I…" Harry had just killed the only person he had left to call 'father'…tears ran down his face…his body lurching with sobs. He reached over and closed the eyes of his former Professor.

Hogwarts Corridors

Albus Dumbledore was walking through the castle. He was lost for what to do next…in a week the students would be back…and Harry would come face to face with Ron. Draco was not improving at all in his condition, Snape was becoming an emotional wreck and Remus was now a liability.

"The war is coming…our hero is dead inside…everything is going Voldemort's way…and I see no way of changing that…" Dumbledore sighed looking out of one of the many windows in the corridor.

He was standing, for what felt like an eternity, knocked out of his silent reverie by the Hogwarts barriers.

"The Avada Kedavera curse? Harry!" Dumbledore cast a spell similar to the one McGonagall had in Harry's second year.

"All teachers that are free at the present, please start searching the castle for Harry Potter…I'm afraid that we may have lost him."

Hospital Wing

Dumbledore's voice was grave. Severus stood up and ordered that the mediwitch had better not leave Draco's side. Striding out of the Hospital Wing swiftly, he joined the other teachers in their search for Harry Potter.

"Potter…you will be the end of me." He sighed.

A.N Please R&R!! Tell me your thoughts! Remember, you are my confidence. Thanks again to all my brilliant reviewers!


	7. I Love you

Disclaimer: Not mine J.K Rowlings okay?

A.N Thanks for your reviews! Sorry this has taken so long but I've been stuck on what to do next well inspiration has finally hit!

Miki23 - Sorry about Remus!

Aikidobrat - Thanks! Here I am with another chapter finally.

Queen-of-empathy - Kitten yeah I agree. As for Lucius you will see what happens later.

Menecarkawan - Harry will get better soon maybe…

Demensha- Sorry about my mistakes. I have changed the thought system thank you for bringing the information to my attention I am still trying to improve my writing.

Celestial light- I know I'm mean sorry don't hurt me please?

Junitsuo- Cutting down on my swearing sorry.

Blackiebrens- Here I am!

'blah…blah' Thoughts

:blah…blah: Parseltongue

****

Why Me?

Chapter seven- I love you…

Harry was curled up next to the werewolf's body.

"I'm sorry Remus…I'm so, so sorry…I've done it again…" He was submitting to his emotions, all the walls he'd built up, every time he'd promised himself never to cry all in vain. He was struggling to keep the tears back. 'I'm a murderer no better than Voldemort…'

Severus was walking around the Castle looking for Harry. He'd tried all the usual spots where he'd seen the boy thinking over the years.

"No where to be seen! Damn you boy!" Severus growled. He was standing by the lake he looked up at the castle he was about to try the forbidden forest when a snowy owl collided with his head. Hedwig grabbed the Potions Master's robes and began to pull him towards the Owelry. Snape would have fought back but he knew Potter's owl was smart, so he let it guide him through the castle and into the Owelry.

"Harry?" He whispered trying not to startle the boy.

"You were right professor. I can't do anything right." Harry whispered not looking the potions master in the eye.

"No Harry you can…you've done so many things that no other wizard could possibly imagine…"

"Then why do I kill everyone I love?" Harry sneered at himself. Severus went over to him and placed a hand on the teenagers shoulder. He sighed and pulled the fragile young man up.

"We must leave this room come on Harry." Severus spoke softly leading the boy out of the Owelry. Harry walked quietly with his head down. Severus guided him down to the Dungeons. He figured the boy could do better without all other teachers hounding him. They would find Remus soon enough. He sat Harry down in his office.

"Harry I know I'm not the best person to talk to in your eyes. But you need to speak to somebody…"

"I'm sorry Professor Snape." Harry whispered hugging himself.

"What for?" Snape asked puzzled.

"Intruding on your pensieve last year…it's my fault that Sirius died and now I've killed Remus too."

"Harry it is not your fault!" He didn't stop to wonder when he's started calling him Harry.

"You are a great wizard! You are an great person! You have the attitude of your mother and yes some of your father but you are you Harry! Never say that again you are not to blame!" Severus didn't know where all this was coming from but it wouldn't stop. 'No I don't care for the brat I don't!'

"When did you start to call me Harry?" Harry looked into the eyes of his professor, his eyes were welling up. 'This man hates me…yet he still thinks I'm great, he's always seen me for me…even after all the stuff my father put him through in the end…he saw me. He protected me…he's the hero of this war not me. He spy's on Voldemort at the risk of his life.'

Severus couldn't answer Harry's question he just looked straight into his fathomless eyes.

"When I started…" Severus trailed off. Harry looked into the onyx eyes trying to read the emotions that were flashing through them. Confusion…pity… Harry gave up they were the only two he could work out. His mind was calling to him trying to make him remember something.

"Professor…you came didn't you? When I was in trouble at the Dursley's…even though the Death Eaters could have seen you and killed you…why?" Harry asked. Severus' jaw tightened, yes the man was right he had gone against all his better instincts and gone with Dumbledore. 'Why? That's a good question.'

"I don't know Harry."

"Oh…" Harry still felt guilty about Remus…but his heart was too busy trying to process what his brain had been trying to shout to him. Harry was concentrating on figuring out what his brain was trying to tell him.

"Harry I know you're hurt…but do not let that get you down please remember you don't have to be alone. We will always be here to protect you. Don't let the presence of the Dark Lord stop you from crying…yes I've noticed it. Crying is a way of letting your emotions go, don't be afraid to do it." Harry knew the man was right but a particular word in that speech caught Harry's attention. His eyes widened as he remembered…the voice taunting him accusing him and then a presence that caused him to fight back.

Severus watched as the boy closed his eyes. Harry was silent trying to feel the same presence… 'Was it him?' The presence suddenly connected as Severus put a hand on Harry's shoulder. 'It was him! He saved me from the darkness…' He looked up at the potions master.

"Thank you Professor…you just saved me again…" Harry whispered. Severus raised an eyebrow the young man was smiling at him. He sighed 'time for you to let yourself go too…even if it is for a moment' He smiled back at Harry.

'It was him…wow, I've never seen him smile before…he looks…nice.' Harry stood and stared straight into the Professor's eyes.

"Why?…Why did you try to save me? Every time you knew I was in trouble?" He was only a little shorter than Severus.

"Because…" 'I don't…know…_oh yes you do! _No…I don't I mean he's always been to look after himself. _But you've always wanted to protect him…_Well I had a debt to repay…_no you've already repaid that debt and you know it!…_Well then why did I?' Harry watched as Severus tried to figure out an answer. '_Because you…_I love him…' Severus closed his eyes and sighed. He'd been hurt in the past badly… 'should I tell him? _Yes…trust him…he's different he wont hurt you…_'

"Because Harry," He whispered looking once more into Harry's beautiful eyes, "I love you…I know it will take a long time to heal your scars…but please let me help you…even if you don't return my feelings let me help you…please?" Harry couldn't believe his ears. 'How can he love me? Doesn't he know I'll kill him?'

Severus could tell what the boy was thinking. He grabbed Harry's chin and pulled his face an inch in front of his own.

"You will not kill me…I love you, I will never leave you unless you want me too…please let me love you...give me a chance." Severus knew this was not like him but he had trusted his heart to Harry. 'I'm an idiot! Look at him he's going to call me a pervert and run out and tell Dumbledore.'

'Well the fact that he's male doesn't bother me...he wants me to give him a chance...he deserves it.'

"I don't…know if I love you, but…I'll give it, us a try…" 'What am I saying? I just killed Remus! I'm a sick bastard I don't deserve love! _But he said it wasn't your fault Harry…_It was though!…_NO! It was not your fault! It was Voldemort's! You know that and you know who to kill!…_It…wasn't my fault?…_Now your starting to see the truth Harry…they died protecting you…so do them a favour and don't get killed…ok?…_Ok I wont…'

"Harry are you sure?" Severus asked in complete disbelief. It was like he was in a dream. 'There must be something wrong! I never get anything I want, what's going on? Why did I trust him? Why am I acting so different?…_Because the ice around your heart is finally melting…_'

"Yes…you were right…it wasn't my fault but it still hurts…I will kill Voldemort! And anyone else who tries to hurt those I love! I'm the only one that can do it and I will!"

Severus smiled at him, 'There's the Harry I know…'

A.N Sorry if that seemed rushed, I tried to keep it in character as much as possible and I wanted the romance to start and Harry deserved it don't you agree? Please R&R!!


	8. Voices

Disclaimer- Not mine, J.K Rowling's!

A.N I'm so sorry! I've just started College and I've been completely snowed in with work!

Miki23- I apologise again for the OOC Severus. But now Harry and Sev have admitted their feelings how long will it take for them to actually act upon it?

Aikidobrat- Here I am finally! Thank you I hope my story continues to please!

HecateDeMort- Thanks hope you enjoy this chapter!

'Blah...blah' – Thoughts

: Blah...blah: - Parseltongue

Why Me?

Chapter eight- Voices

It had been a week since the incident with Remus. Harry and Severus had not spoken since that night. Harry sat against the tree beside the lake. He sighed sadly, 'He's probably pretending it never happened...after all I bet it was just pity. He could never _truly _care for an idiotic Gryffindor like me.' He stared at the giant squid in the lake.

"If only my life were as simple as yours." He smiled slightly. He continued to watch the squid for an hour or so before he decided to go back into the castle.

'Maybe I should visit Draco. Yes that seems to be a good idea.'

Severus sat next to his unconscious god son. He had been there every moment he could spare. Thinking about nothing but Draco and what had truly happened to cause his sudden arrival.

Harry arrived at the Hospital Wing. Instead of barging in like he would have done a year ago he carefully cracked the door open an inch to make sure there was nobody about.

"Damn!" He muttered, of all people he had to run into... 'Wait...what's the matter with him? He looks so sad.' Harry opened the door a little more and saw who Severus was watching. 'Draco? Oh that's why I've hardly seen him. Wait. Draco is just his godson isn't he? I mean there can't be anything more there...right?' He examined the look in Severus' eye.

"Damn! As unreadable as ever!" Harry cursed under his breath.

"Mr. Potter, made a habit of standing in doorways have we? It's not good manners to stand there murmuring incoherently to yourself." Severus looked up into Harry's brilliant green eyes. Harry blushed slightly and walked in.

"Sorry." He muttered. "You don't mind if I join you do you?" He asked hopefully.

"Pardon my questioning, but what do you want?" Severus stared intently into Harry's eyes.

"I want to make sure my class mate and professor, are both doing well." Harry answered truthfully. Severus seemed satisfied with the answer and went back to watching his godson like a hawk. Harry sat near Severus. Not so close as to draw suspicion, but close enough to keep an eye on his professor and let him know he was there for him.

'_Great what do I do now? Well I told him I loved him...I meant it too...but, he was so overwhelmed with what had happened...maybe he wasn't sincere'_

Harry was surprised to see the confusion in Severus' eyes.

"Professor, are you okay?" Harry inquired softly so he did not startle the older man.

"I'm fine Potter..." Severus growled back. Harry did not back down, he'd seen how ratty the potions master could get sometimes.

"Well you don't look okay, you look confused and I know that you do not let your mask go for something you consider trivial...so tell me maybe I can help."

"Since when where you an expert in my emotions?" Severus bit out angrily.

"Professor, I never claimed to be an expert I'm merely stating what I observed." Harry took in a deep breath and tried to calm his threatening temper. Severus fell silent staring at his godson. Harry could tell how bad Severus felt and that he needed to be alone. He stood and put a hand on Severus' shoulder, "I'm sure he'll be okay professor." He whispered and exited the room swiftly.

As soon as he was out of earshot, Harry burst out crying. 'It's as though I wasn't eventhere...have I done something wrong? What's going on?_ Stop being so selfish_...What do you mean 'selfish'..._well it's not as though his life revolves around you Potter...you were probably right in thinking he said it out of pity...I'd bet it was pity. _I...I'm not listening... _aww is the poor baby upset?_ Leave me alone! _Why? It's not like I'm saying something you haven't already thought..._LEAVE ME ALONE'

Harry clutched his head and ran as fast as he could towards the entrance hall.

A.N Sorry again everyone! But oh dear the voice is back...wonder what's going to happen. Sorry it's so short!!


End file.
